i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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