So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think people are normalizing furries
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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