I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
