you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
