I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
