I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize