i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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