I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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