I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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