help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
