..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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