What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
