Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Boobs speak an international language.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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