last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
