In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
