I want to have your abortion
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
