I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
