If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
