Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
her vagine was all disorganized.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
