Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
