You're my little dorito
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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