Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it's like iHOP with fire
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
