Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
