I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
