He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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