i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Green mimosas i think yes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
