I just threw up on my dentist
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
