she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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