Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
smell my finger.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
