it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
