That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
