Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He felt like a one man threesome
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
