shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
