Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
