I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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