32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
