He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
