Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
