How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
