Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
