Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
