I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im holly from the hills drunk
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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