btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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