I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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