If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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