Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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