Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
