where does the pee come out of this thing
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
