Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
