weddingsv make me drug and hornr
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
