YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
