He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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