Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so let's talk penis.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
