Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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