the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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