Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
