Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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