After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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