Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
handjob tips. give me some.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
