yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
