quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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