Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
