Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
