I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
