Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
