so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
