Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
