I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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