i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
