i don't like sucking hair
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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