I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize