Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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