I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
