I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
