ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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