I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize