Do vagina's smell?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
